And The World Would Be A Better Place Without…
People Who Want To Be Vampires
It was bad enough when I was in High School and it was just two or three weirdos who worked stage crew and would get together every Friday night to recite Interview With The Vampire to each other. These days it seems it is an all out pandemic.
Gone is the golden era of the 90’s when only one out of every twenty five or so episodes of Maury Povich was dedicated to people who had ridiculous dental procedures to give themselves fangs and spent all day sleeping in race car beds coffins in their parent’s basements so that they could emerge at night in search of (fellow) virgins, Funyuns and Big Gulps.
At least then the cults would occasionally off a parent or two in their quest to become creatures of the night (and by the by Rod, pretty sure Dracula wouldn’t have used a crowbar).
With Twilight now replacing Harry Potter as the most popular book meant for 11 year-olds yet somehow worshipped by adults and that horrible HBO show where Anna Paquin shows her boobs all of the time and hangs out with vampires in the south (I done want to suck your blood, y’all) coming back for another season it appears as though there is no end in sight.
Don’t worry though. Me, Rudy, Frankenstein, Horace, Phoebe and Scary German Guy are totally on top of this shit. Does anyone know what a “ver-shin” is though? And maybe where we might find one?
